We are full of schnitzel and satire. For factual Helen tourism info and discounted accommodations, please visit Explorehelen.com.

Vol. I, No. 1 · Sunday, April 26, 2026

Bavarian Brainrot

Bavarian Brainrot

Helen’s Newspaper of Record · Established 2026 · All The News That’s Fit To Pretzel

Brat-Mart Visit the Alpine Outpost for all your Bavarian cravings

Quiz

Are You The 153-Foot Curtis Creek Waterfall Or The 50-Foot York Creek Waterfall?

Anna Ruby Falls is, in fact, two waterfalls of substantially different stature. Determine, in five questions, which one of the two you are.

Are You The 153-Foot Curtis Creek Waterfall Or The 50-Foot York Creek Waterfall?

Question 1 of 5

How would you describe your usual presence in a room?